People Will Disappoint You

I thought I was getting better, I believe that I was changing and I believe I could be blessed of once by god.

But I was lying to myself.

And the ladder that I was using to climb out of this darkness, turned out to be a rotten wooden one, that easily broke, and the hand of darkness pulled me back... no pulled me deeper into this pit. What happen you ask? Well, remember when I mention about that there was a misunderstanding between me and Dr, well I thought I cleared it up. But came Friday, and the person or persons who told her about it, told her more things, and sadly, it was not the truth. One thing about me, if I said it, I'll own up to it. But if I didn't, sure as hell, I am not gonna say I did. So I question the source who said she did not tell Dr that. But at the end of the day, I was the one blamed. I was the one who was a disappointment, hated, and untrustworthy. And I did not say those things. I know the person who said it, and I know Dr. Both are my friends and yet this happen. Back stabbing? Blaming game? Jealously? Miscommunication?

I blame myself.

I should have never trusted anyone ever again. Cause I a fool who trust so easily that people screw me over for anything and everything. I'm a fool for believing in people, and I'm the one to be blamed for everything. I should have known better. This incident has left me very bitter and I hate myself more than ever. No more. I've cut myself off. I have deactivated my Facebook account, twitter and all other social ties with people. I do not need anymore grief or problems in my life. I'm already circling the drain and drinking more alcohol just to sleep that I can't even laugh at myself. I find myself crying all the time and I do not know why I am. I should and prefer to be alone. I don't need anyone to be my friend. I don't any human connections.


 After all, people will ALWAYS disappoint you.